She lies in a bed of flowers

I knew this day was coming, and I dreaded the day it would arrive...

These past few weeks, I noticed that she was not quite herself; she had slowed with age, but managed to still keep up with me. I glanced at her sadly, knowing her time as my companion was nearing it's end. It has been 5 days since her passing, and now I find it fitting to retell one of our past adventures. With this, I say goodbye, my little princess; you will be missed.



Dropping my phone has become a habit; a bad habit that to this day I have not overcome. The back of my phone will not even stay on now, unless assisted by tape. Ahhh, but I love my phone; my phone and I have been through a lot and into a lot of things. She is a girly phone too, all shiny and pink like a princess.

There was a day when my little princess phone became a dirty girl. On the day she became a dirty girl, I made the mistake of carrying her in the breast pocket of my scrub top. On this day, I was eagerly awaiting a call and she was set to vibrate when calls came in, and the only pocket I could place her in where I would feel that vibration was my breast pocket. I thought to myself, when I placed her snugly in my pocket, that I was going to drop her today, and the question for the day would be onto or into what would I drop her? Early afternoon, that question was answered.

A patient rang out to be assisted to the bathroom, only this patient was in the Chest Pain Center, actively experiencing mild chest discomfort. I, being the vigilant and thorough nurse, would not allow this patient to ambulate to the bathroom which was 6 feet from her stretcher. My patient was destined to void on the ever popular and loved plastic bedpan. After my patient completed her business, I removed the beloved bedpan, placed it on the floor, and carefully assisted my patient in redressing herself. When finished, as I bent over to pick up the bedpan, I felt a sense of dread, and then I felt my little princess slipping out of my pocket. I watched and heard her plop into the urine filled bedpan. My cat-like reflexes kicked in, immediately plucking her from her dirty bath. Ohhh, she was now a dirty girl!

After cleaning her multiple times with toxic wipes, alcohol, and again with toxic wipes, she functioned beautifully. Now, she no longer rides along in the breast pocket of my tops, and when people ask to borrow her, my princess phone, I never tell her dirty secret.

Saying Goodbye

My week started off horribly and it has continued to be extremely sad. Saturday night and into Sunday morning, I cared for a former coworker who was gravely ill. Probably the entire staff of the medical unit I work on, at one point, assisted in trying to stabilize this person. All our efforts failed, thus my former coworker experienced a horrible death. It was utterly horrific.

Today, my son's dog, Molly, was put down. In 2002, we found Molly at the SPCA when my son, Seth, wanted a dog for his birthday. I told Seth, "The smaller the better," and so he settled on Molly, a cute 1 yr old 5lb terrier mix. Molly was one of the smartest dogs we welcomed in to our home. When she was younger, Molly would do what we asked of her with spunk in her step. Her favorite toys were a tennis ball and the latex squeaky chew creations the pet store offered. With the tennis ball, if you rolled the ball to her, she would stop it with her nose, and then very precisely roll it back to you...she loved this. The squeaky chew toys, she wrestled with...she was our comic relief. Molly also loved car rides, hanging ten with her nose out the window taking in all the scents. In more recent years, Molly had lost her sight, but not her spunk. Though Molly was tiny, her personality remained huge. It is sweet to know that someone so small can leave such a warm feeling in your heart. We will always love you, our little Molly-bo-Bolly. We miss you dearly...

Baby Bella

Today I traveled to Roanoke so I could meet the newest addition to the Walker family. Weighing in at 8lbs 6oz is baby Isabella, aka Bella. I normally do not like babies because they cry. Bella is so beautiful and content...I already adore her. In the 2nd photo, I look like I am ready to run off with her...but do not worry bro. As soon as she starts crying, I will return her ;0 Congrats Noel and Janet!!

Spiteful

Here is Edgar Allen, "Eddie" or "Kitty!," giving me one of his many spiteful looks. I think he gets it from me....

Exceptionally Evil = Wicked

There are some days and nights where you have the best intentions, but fate or circumstances (call it what you will) thwart your every effort.

In trying to control my patient's pain, I advocated that his/her pain med be increased. The med was increased, but in doing so, I created utter frustration for myself when the time came to adjust my patient's PCA pump. After an hour of not being able to change the program for the pump and having phoned others for guidance on how to solve the problem with no resolution, I was ready to bend and melt the PCA key, punt the PCA pump like I was going for a goal in World Cup, and administer aggressive pillow therapy to anyone who dared suggest something I had already attempted.

I decided to walk away and readdress the issue in 20 minutes.

Next I decided to give the PCA key to a different RN, who knew nothing of the problem, and let her go for it.

She was able to turn the pump off--that was all I had been trying to do. In my mind, I fell to my knees and bowed at the waist to her, arms outstretched, and I kissed the ground she walked on. OMG! WTF! I thanked her repeatedly, even though she could not tell me how she had completed this elusive task.

With the pump now appropriately set, and my patient's pain better controlled, I proceeded to change his/her abd dressing. My patient cried, yelled, and carried on like a non-compliant detainee at fat camp having his/her last chocolate bar torn from his/her pudgy fingers.

As tempting as it was to pack the wound a little more than necessary, I refrained.

This same patient had an ostomy appliance that needed frequent emptying, because of gas collection. I suggested that because he/she could help with this, I would leave the collection container at hand, for he/she to use as needed. My patient proceeded to use this container as his/her personal trash can, then called me to the bedside. "Does this pouch need emptying?," my patient asks.

As tempting as it was to give a wry sharp tongued response, I refrained.

I emptied the "trash" container, decompressed the pouch, put the container out of my patient's reach, and exited the room.

My next patient had concerned family members, with one becoming what I like to term a "monitor vigilante." This patient had an AICD/pacer, and the monitor misread the pacing spikes/rhythm as PVCs. The monitor kept alarming "trigeminy," "bigeminy," "VT." It was maddening. I reset the alarms, to make it stop. I then observe the patient's "monitor vigilante" almost nose to screen, wondering why it was not alarming.

As tempting as it was to call into the room, using the call system, and say to the "monitor vigilante," "didn't your parents teach you not to move close to the screen! You will ruin your eyes! Back away from the screen!," I refrained.

From there, my night got worse (like it could actually do that!)...

Normally, I am a quiet, happy person. When I left work this morning, I felt positively evil. I believe I even walked about the unit, daring someone to ask me how my night was. I had that evil grin on my face and glimmer in my eye that I normally reserve for people I loathe.

And I still am feeling positively evil, as I glare at my spiteful cat...

Spring's Surprises

I travelled to visit my brother and his family today, and was shocked when I realized that my 11yo niece, Adrianna, sprouted upward and is now taller than me. I have always thought that I was at least 5'3", but during my last doctor visit, I measured in at only 5'2.75"...sigh... That is ok... I still have many inches over my two youngest nieces, Gabby and Elise, and I will for at least the next 5-6 years. Hah!

Rantings From My Inner Nerd!

I should have known better...

I had been eagerly anticipating the release of the new version of Clash of the Titans, so much so that I had built up this image of some great theatrical spectacle that would blow all others away. On entering the theater, I was giddy with excitement. As the movie wore on, my excitement faded, and I began asking "why this?" and "why that?" in my mind. The 3D was awful; I felt like I was in the dark, during many action sequences, squinting to see. At it's conclusion, I was filled with immense disappointment, and angered by this Hollywood distortion of an incredible story. The 1981 version had less distortion of the story, and had better acting and costumes.

Here are some things that I found perplexing: Why was it necessary to kill Perseus's mother in the beginning? Her predicament was the reason Perseus set out on his adventure. Why would Hades begin a spree like that of a serial killer? The three brothers, Poseidon, Zeus, and Hades, decided amongst themselves who would rule what--there was no trickery involved. Why was the Kracken (sea monster) a "child" of Hades? It came from the sea, so should it not have been Poseidon's "child?" It was Andromeda's parents who angered Poseidon, so the Gods sent the sea monster to destroy their city. Why was it necessary to add the "cougar-like" character Io? It was Athena who coached Perseus on where to find the necessary equipment to defeat Medusa. Why were additional new characters added--the black magic beings in the desert? They look like something stolen from Star Wars (Tusken Raiders, perhaps). Why was a task from the myth of Psyche and Eros stolen and used in this film? What am I talking about you ask? Perseus never bribed the ferryman, Charon, to get to the underworld. Psyche bribed Charon to complete an impossible task given to her by Aphrodite. Does Hollywood think no one reads anymore or that no one will notice the stealing of part of a story from another myth? (This really angers me) Why the team of men to defeat Medusa? It would have been much more interesting to see Perseus using the winged sandals, mirrored shield, sword, and helmet of invisibility that were given to him. If Hollywood wanted to add-lib, why not add in Medusa's sisters after her decapitation? Pegasus was born of the blood of Medusa and Poseidon. The winged sandals made Perseus's get-away easy, not Pegasus. Why the color change for Pegasus? Why was Zeus wrapped in a glowing tin foil looking war suit? Andromeda became Perseus's mate, not the "cougar" Io. Why was it necessary to change that? Why, why, why?

There are many other distortions of this story that irk me; I will just stop here. I should have known better... to expect more of Hollywood was foolish of me.