Working in a place where people are forced to use a community refrigerator, invites thieves to steal the carefully packed food of others. Tonight, my thoughtfully packed grapes and banana were stolen. Petty, yes, but those yummy snacks should be in my belly beginning the fascinating process of digestion. Instead, by a thief in the night, they were taken away and savored by someone else. As I sat eating my lean cuisine pizza, I thought of terrible ways this fiend should suffer: projectile vomitting and diarrhea, choking while at work requiring intubation, four point restraints, a foley catheter, and an EGD in the morning. Let's throw a run of a-fib in there, too, where we did not have time to sedate and did cardioversion emergently...yeah... shock the crap out of him or her. Might get my grapes back that way! I take comfort in knowing that I never washed those grapes; hell, I even dropped some on the kitchen floor, before placing them in the baggy :)
